Lost the baby 2/15/11

I did lose the baby at home. It was quite a painful short labor. I contracted for maybe an hour and it hurt very bad in my cervix. I passed the baby, who was easily seen in the sac of water not broken. I barely had time to react when I began to hemorrhage. It was very scary to say the least. I have been recovering well. I have a need of being close to DH, which is good. I don't know why I feel this way this time, but I have really wanted him close to me.

I recently went to the Dr and got the release to try again. Although we really were not just trying, I do feel I would want to try, but am scared to after what I went through. Not only that, but seeing a friend just one week later, lose hers at 20 weeks has been devastating! I am scared to even try.

I am to return to the Dr this next Wednesday for a routine Check up visit. The big ugly one every woman hates. I agreed to it because if I do get pregnant they wouldn't have to do a pap and make me risk my baby. I guess we will just see what happens.

It's time to begin potty training Carl! He is 2 and it is spring, those are the two things we look for to begin his next little phase in his life. I am not too sure how he will do though. He is such a energetic boy, even to get him to slow down to listen to anything you say is a chore. I am thinking of changing his diet to see if he settles down some.

I am hoping her surprises me and does well. who knows maybe he will be like older brother Samuel, he trained in 3 weeks! My easiest one! sigh, somehow I have a feeling he will be my hardest...lol