New addition

Very soon we will bring home our newest member of the family.  I am so excited!

It Is Ironic

Last night I update about my dad,  tonight I'm losing him to Alzheimer's. Not sure how long he has left though. ..

35 Years Without

When I was 12, my parents divorced. My life was shattered and little did I know, it would be 35 years before I would see my father again. He left me and my brothers behind when he left Mom and started his new life. I remember being so angry at him. I hated him, I hated what I learned about him, yet I loved him. Though it would be years before I could admit it. When I married and had my first child, I tried to contact him. Only to face rejection yet again. Every time I would contact, he would reject. I finally decided I would simply keep him updated with phone numbers addresses and births. If he refused me, it would be on him, not me.

In May 2014, My mother passed away. I immediately needed my dad. I cannot help it, but, it is just how it hit me. I called my step mother and spoke with her. She informed me that my dad had severe alzheimer's. I simply asked he if I could come when she felt it best. I needed closure as I had with Mama's death. I was with her when she died.

A couple of months ago she called me and told me to come. I was so shocked. I was so overwhelmed and so terrified. I went the following Monday. I took my oldest son JJ with me. He helped me stay calm and read directions. He lives 133 miles away.
When I got there, I admit I was disappointed that he didn't recognize who I was. But it didn't matter, because for the first time in 35 years I was sitting within feet of my DAD!! I have been twice and will go as often as I can. I know his days are numbered.

Though some do not understand my need, I am so thankful for what time I have with my dad. Though I understand others feeling toward him, I have my own feelings and will not allow anyone to rob me of my time with him.

I do not know how long I have with him, but you better believe, I am one happy girl, as I again have my DAD!!

So much has changed

SO much has changed since I left using blogger. Facebook seems to keep my hooked in its clutches. My mom passed away in May 2014 2 days after her birthday. It has been life changing. Then there is the children changing, adult children changing, hurts, some happiness along the way. I have realized I have only now, I am not promised my next breath, and I need to focus on my children at home and do all I can to help them to become responsible adults. Nothing else matters anymore. Things that seemed important are not. SO with that, I move on....

Our current family at home consists of DH and I, 3 children, and 3 cats. No dogs for now. Life is fast paced lately. We have a used appliance store, that sells reconditioned appliances. it takes so much of our time.  When not working we try to spend quality time with the children. Rebecca is now 12, Carl 7, and Cassia turns 4 in just a few days. Time is moving at such a fast rate.

Since we have such huge expenses with having a store we have decided to cut expenses and either sell or rent our home. This will enable us to move to the loft above the store. We have so much we need to do, but I am so ready to do it. I need that change of scenery. A fresh start.

With that I will end this note and do another post on Cassia. Ugh she is my one!!!